Well, its 3:05 am right now and I can't fall asleep yet because of the heat and my headache. I also couldn't sleep because I remembered I haven't posted on here for a few days.
And well...I got sick again! I really hate how bad my immune system is. I am also trying slowly to do better for I might ended up going into surgery if my doctor says its okay for me to start the treatment to prepare me for surgery. Well i think I should say goodnight everyone and I'll post one of my poems soon once I finish it.
Goodnight everyone

I open up a Society6 go look at my art and buy some stuff o3o if I have enough I can sell and make more art.

How should I?

How should I smile?
How should I tell you?
That I’m just tired of everything.
I’m tired being sad.
I’m tired of letting my demons control me.
I pushed everyone away,
Every last one.
Even though I want all of them near me.
I want to tell everyone I’m okay,
I want to tell myself that I’m fine, 
But I’m not! 
I never am.
And I don’t think I’ll ever will…

 So how should I tell you that I’m not fine?
How should I show you all my scars?
How should I show anyone?
That I’m crying at night,
Mixing my sweet bitter tears with my crimson blood,
Throwing my things, pulling my hair and making my skin.
How should I even tell you or show you?
When I am scared to even say anything,
or even look at you, or anyone to be in fact..

 I’m writing this poem to you and to everyone,
Who loves and cares for me,
I want to apologize,
I want to you all to forgive me…
forgive me for all the pain I hid from you,
For all the lies I’ve said.

I just hope these words are stronger than my silent voice...