A sad apology

Good night my sweet prince...

For I have hurt you just like my past lovers had to me.

I made a mistake and hurt you deeply,

I don't know if you'll see me again.

I think you will ever..

But I am truly sorry,

I want to make things right,

I want to be forgiven for my sins.

But I know I will never get that.

You're to hurt to do that.

And I know....I know.

I'm sorry, but I still love you.

You're my light, and will stay that way.

I'll just remain in my darkness,

Remembering my sins...

Until I can forgive myself.

Just another one...

Time has come to rest and I take a deep breath,

It's a restless night once again.

My heart can't stop crying and neither can I.

I look at my clock, its 4:30 am

I'm shrug and groaned a little as I sit up in my bed.

Motionless and tired I look at the floor,

Before I stand up and take the bottle on my drawer with my glass of water.

I open the bottle and take one out, placing it in my palm.

Running my finger on it before I decide to swallow it out.

With a single tear I take a deep breath and cry silently.

I watch the clock as time passes, but it doesn't help.

I can't close my eyes.

One wasn't enough...

So I take another.

One was to help me sleep,

Two were to help it go faster,

Three to make it last,

Four to make me dream a little longer,

Five to make me wonder my dreams in tears,

Six where to make me forget the pain.

Seven where to make time pass for a long while.

Eight were enough to help it end.

But nine, ten, and eleven where to make sure I would never come back...

To never make that pain come again,

To try and let you go.

To give a reason to move on...

So I can restart...

So you can move one,

So I could disappear...

Last Dance

Dancing in this ballroom filled with people in masquerade, 
My crimson dress glides with ease in this silent dance,
My partner is tall and mysterious as he takes control.
My body is wrapped in my partner’s arms as he takes me into this dance.

Just like a puppet on its strings,
My steps have no control, 
My actions aren’t mine in this dance,

I am weak with each step,
Yet I do nothing to stop this feeling.
The song will soon come to an end but will this also be mine?
He whispers against my ear, 
He asks me to be his…
To take his hand and leave.

Those sweet words he speaks against me,
I can feel myself get lost deeper in him.
My mind is going blank as I feel him spin me.
I grip is becoming faint, but he holds me tight. 

He leans in, closing the gap between us,
His lips are so close to mine as I cold shiver runs down my back.
I push away and try to flee but he holds my hand,
Pulling me back into his embrace, 

His firm grip makes me feel weak as the song begin to slow down,
It’s almost time and I fear it so. 
My crimson dress starts to slowly fade to a pale white,

My legs begin to give in as I just stay and dance with him once more, 
The melody is now ending as he lean in again,
This time I don’t stop him.

My dress has completely faded white,
My eyes grow heavy as I can feel my breath come to a slow stop,
While my body goes limp in his arms before I faintly look at his as he removes his mask.
The ghoulish masquerade reveals the face of a dead man.
No, he’s more of of a guardian and protector of the dead.
And I am one of the few he had come to take.

Now the music has come to an end and I lay in his arms.
In my white dress that will now suit as my farewell dress to the others.
He carries me in his hands as everyone moves away silent as they always been,
But now they bow as he walks with me down the pathway and walk out the large doors.

Help Me

Help me see,
Help me sing,
I am lost and I am confused.
I have no one left to save me,

They all have left…
I am all alone.
I am scared,
Please I beg,

Help this pain go away,
I don't want to sing this sad tune,
I don't want to be in this darkness,

It hurts, it hurts
Everything I say is silent,
Everything I do is painful
I am numbed each day after.

I get used and abused,
For what?
Well to just get rid of this pain.
But it doesn’t help.

I feel sick to the core,
I want to scream and shout!
I want to scratch my skin until I feel clean.

But I know that won’t happen…
This feeling won’t go away.
I’m stuck like this…

My only way out may mean goodbye…
But what would it solve?
It will only go to a new host.

I want someone to help me…
Please someone help me.
I’m alone.
I’m so scared...