Relationships

Have you ever been in a relationship that you thought would last? We'll everyone has. I know I have, I thought I was going to have a perfect future but it was just a dream; more like fantasy. In reality I didn't love being with my boyfriend (who is now my ex) I wasn't enjoying it after a few months as our one year anniversary was getting close.  I was rethinking everything that has happen to us in that whole year and well...Wasn't all happy and wonderful like I made it seem. I was being controlled by him, he wouldn't let me spend time with my friends; he really disliked them because they let me express my sexuality (I'm pan, but that's a different story in another time).

Every time I won him in games, acted like myself, wanted to be affectionate in public, or if he was in little arguments he would just abuse me. Yeah he would physically and at times emotionally abuse me when we were alone, and after some time he let his middle sister abuse me, he would bite, pinch, punch me when she wanted and I couldn't defend myself from that; I only enjoyed to be with his youngest sister who pretty much liked to play princess, dress up, and draw stuff with me. I would at times be with his mother for she was really supportive of me and kind, she helped me when I was at hurting myself. You could say I just wanted to be with his mother but no, I actually loved him, like deeply but he would ignore me for days and play his games and when I would give up and go to enjoy my hobbies and the free time I had he would just complain that I didn't love him. That I was taking or relationship serious, Me! I tried to get him to do things with me but he would always blow me off, for Call of Duty and other shooter games. I could have joined him but he would insult me for being bad at games I'm not interested in, I don't like war shooting games, it's not my thing. I enjoy games like Metal Gear, Naruto, Uncharged, and other games. He kept treating me like crap for wanting to have an alone time, he accused me of cheating. He crossed the line one day.

Everyone has been in that relationship where you lose your v-card (virginity) and well her was the one that took it but not how I wanted it. I didn't want to have sex at all that that moment, I wasn't in the mood or ready to do that but he was and didn't really care if I wanted to or not; and I fought with him, I refused to let him get his way but he was stronger than me and I couldn't do that much just refuse him until the end. After that day I just didn't want to do anything with him, at all. Weeks passed and he would try to set dates and I would have to cancel and tell him that I had plans or something like that. This lasted all the way up until Christmas, when I broke it off, I got sick of the abuse and neglect from him. I didn't care that it was Christmas I just wanted to enjoy the rest of the year being happy. But that didn't really happen because he ignored the fact that I ended it with him so he made me break up with him on New Year’s. 

Yeah you read that right I broke up with him again on New Year’s, his family saw me do it over a Skype chat while my parents where off drinking with their friends. I know it was a dick move but he refuse to accept that I wanted a better life, even if it meant being single and happy without him.

The funny thing is that a few weeks later I remembered that I told that if we broke up I wouldn't mind dating someone of my the same sex as me, and well I did and I texted him saying. "I didn't think I would be actually be dating an awesome girl after our break up.' He was surprised. Most people would, I didn't even tell my parents about my new relationship, though I wasn't afraid of being affectionate with her in public. 

But after sometime that ended and now I'm dating my best friend of eight years, and my first boyfriend, you can say he was my first and my last. What I learn from all this is that is your not in the perfect relationship you do't have to stay in it, just break it off if you want to; what's better a happy life or being in a relationship your not really happy in or enjoying it.

I should acctually post something about relationship advice one day...if I get asked.